Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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