If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
