...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
