I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
