dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
