Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
