It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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