we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
