While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
