lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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