Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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