can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
