It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
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