But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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