so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize