How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
