dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
