i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
