Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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