Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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