I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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