i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
