I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize