My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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