; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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