Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The struggles of a small town man whore
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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