You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
