she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
