i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
