highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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