i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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