i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
whose ass print is on the piano?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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