if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
