this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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