I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
