at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
