Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
