Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i think i have two assholes
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
