I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
