I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
