well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
