overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize