I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
