I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
