you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
