Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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