I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
