So drunk its hurt
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
