Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
