If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
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