She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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