We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
