WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
