I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
barbara walters just said penis...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
