is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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