Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
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