Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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