I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
