but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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