Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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