It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize