This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
