I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
